Winged Stress Reliever
by febe22248
Summary: Dean has a bit of a panic attack and Cas comes to calm him down.


**AN: First off WARNING: if you're prone to panic attacks then this might be a trigger. Second this has slight spoilers from season 1 to 8 so if you haven't seen it all yet then you might not wanna read.**

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Dean was feeling a bit stressed tonight. Sure, maybe he's always stressed but not like this. He's usually stressed over a case or a bigger problem they've been dealing with or especially Sam. But tonight was different, it was more personal, tonight, he was stressed over himself.

Dean is known for hiding his feelings and burying his problems. He just drinks them away. "No chick flick moments", as he always says. But you can't keep things bottled up forever, and Dean's about to find that out.

He was sitting on the edge of the motel bed looking down at his feet planted firm on the old creaky floor. His head racing with guilt and tragedy, which isn't hard to obtain with the life he leads. Everything is his fault, or at least that's how he sees it. He's trying to clear his head but all those bad memories are screaming at him. He runs his hand through his hair and he doesn't understand why he can't control his breathing from fastening. He's trying his hardest to calm down but he just can't, it's like the stress is taking over his body. Luckily Sam isn't here to worry about him. He wouldn't want his Sammy to see him like this. Whatever this may be.

Everything started rushing up to the surface of his mind. Jo, Ash, Ellen. When Sam died in his arms. Those people that Lilith killed. His dad dying for him. Bobby, oh poor Bobby. Purgatory. The torture in Hell. Torturing in Hell. Breaking the first seal. Meg. Benny, the one who never let him down. Even to the end. His face was heated now and he was nearly shaking. God, why couldn't he stop this?

"Oh God", he let out, "It's all my fault." He was shaking his head, tears welling up in his eyes as he gripped his shirt. He was hot yet freezing at the same time. The world seemed to be crumbling around him whilst he sat in solitude in this nearly quiet motel room.

Finally he let out, "Cas!" His gravelly voice breaking, then in a hushed tone he added, "I need you."

He hung his head once more and could barely see the floor through his tear filled eyes.

"Dean?"

He turned around to see Castiel standing in the room with a concerned look.

He got up and tried to bat away the tears.

"Man, I'm so sorry." He begun.

"For what?" Cas tilted his head.

"I don't know, everything." He walked toward Cas and his talking only quickened. " I-I'm sorry for zapping you away that one time when you were only trying to help. It's my fault you were blown to bits by Lucifer. It's my fault the whole damn apocalypse started anyway!" He was shaking now, rarely looking Cas in the eye, "And I'm the reason Jo and Ellen died in that stupid explosion. And Ash. I'm-I'm the reason my father isn't here with us right now! Even worse, I'm the whole reason Sam has had to go through this crap anyway! I mean, I brought his along because I was selfish." He spat out the word as if it were vile. "He could be off doing normal people things and have a wife and kids and a dog and be a lawyer. The apple pie life he always wanted. But I've caused him to suffer and it's entirely my fault-"

"Dean!" Cas cut in assertively.

"-I'm sorry I don't want to bother you with my stupid rambling I just-"

"Dean, stop!"

Dean looked Cas in the eye at last and the tears started to fill his eyes again as he choked out, "The world would be so much better without me."

With that Cas grabbed Dean into a hug and held him tight. Dean resisted a second then couldn't help but wrap his arms around the angle and grip tight onto the part of his trench coat that lay on his shoulders, nuzzling his face into the crook of Cas' neck.

"Dean you listen to me." Cas spoke into Dean's shoulder, "Stop blaming yourself for everything. You don't need to be responsible for everyone's lives."

Dean was shaking in his hold. Cas quickly decided to take advantage of his angelic status and let his wings become visible and stretched them out before wrapping them around Dean. This wasn't the first time Cas had let Dean see his wings. Dean's curiosity had taken over him once before and Cas had given in, finally.

His tears were alas escaping his eyes and being caught by Cas' coat. He could feel Dean's heart racing against his chest.

"Sam wouldn't have had to go through any of this if it weren't for me." Dean's voice broken and muffled into Cas' neck.

"He would've ended up in the hunting business eventually. Better it be with you." Cas kissed the side of Dean's head before placing his cheek onto it. "Listen, Dean. I will always be there to help you carry this apparently unbearable load. Just...relax."

Whether Dean believed him or not, Cas could feel his heart rate slow down. The wings really did help. Dean felt secure in Cas' arms .

So there they stood. A broken man and his angel.

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**AN: So I don't remember when I wrote this. Probably mid-season 8. I thought I would post it because well I miss you guys and haven't posted anything in a while so be sure to review bc I love those.**


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